Thus, when it comes to trying to go into higher education, one immediately encounters the first barrier: gaining understanding of where academia is. Everything taught in a 400 level course ends in the 80’s at best and the student is left stranded on an island which no longer is inhabited. Sometimes he sees smoke in the distance of a ship. Unfortunately in this world the speed of light is very slow and by the time the smoke is detected the ship is far gone.

When you enter the class room for an exam, it should be like walking onto a stage. There’s nothing you can do except to trust that you can perform what you have practiced or that if you don’t remember something that you can improvise to a degree to which no one will notice. One should also never attempt to perform without an inspiration. Imagine playing the Four Seasons by Vivaldi without anything feeling – every movement would be as dull as the previous – spring and winter would for once be the same.

An exam is a performance: don’t take it, perform it.

• The Whiny They complaint about the silliest things. You know, if you just do it right maybe you would get more points. This is a science, meaning: EXACT. No, your answer which is slight inexact does not cut it it buddy!
• The Cheater These make me furious. If you are a senior and still cheat and have no clue what is going on in the class its probably a hint that you do not deserve the diploma. I really wonder what they will do in life. They probably think computer science means automatic income. Sorry buddy, that ended in 2000.

• The Kiss Up Sorry, no one cares if you know or ask stupid questions. Who computer science was discussion oriented? Buddy, leave kissing up with your pre-school teacher.

Every time I have office hours I crave for someone to show up. I don’t care for what reason, anything will be more entertaining than me sitting and staring at the wall. There is also something amazing if you do decide to show up to one’s office hours. They will remember that you came. And who knows, they might even be nice to you when they have to grade something. Let’s be honest, the grading of most things is the most random task one can do. It’s all about the mood and bias the grader has. And that is why everyone should go to everyone else’s office hours. Make people with office hours happy. Please.

May I start by saying that I never took a computer science course that had a lab and for that reason I have never seen what a lab should be like. I also never used the computers that are in the lab and that is also quite a ride. I took a lot of time, much more than I should, preparing for my first lab just so I knew what to expect. By the end of my preparation I felt fairly sure what was going to happen and how I would get things done in the time span of an hour.

Some people weren’t sure that I was the TA and hesitated entering the room but soon enough 25 eager to learn students walked into the lab. It feels so good to be a TA and yet be only a sophomore, it’s the prize for my academic success in many ways. Once everyone was there I introduced myself (not exactly in the best of fashions) and proceeded with my little lecture which quickly became chaos. It’s hard to give instructions to people who have such a diverse range of knowledge. Some know a lot and some don’t even know how to type which meant that for most of the 60 minutes I was flying all over the place helping people with simple mistakes.

I had no idea of what to expect, and it was all a surprise to me. I managed to cover a good 80% of what I had planned to cover and hopefully next week it will be more orderly. Next week I also have to grade their first homework assignment. That should be fun because I don’t know how mean or nice I should be in the grading. The grades will speak for themselves and hopefully I will be a fair TA.

• No grade can be below B+
• I require either
  • 3 A’s and 2 B+‘s (all 3 credit courses)

• 1 A (4 credit), 2 A’s and a B+

I have never had these many good grades in my life, but it’s the only way that I can even consider doing my masters. All I need at the moment are 5 good grades to cancel all the bad ones I have had in the past and from there on I only have to be careful and continue with a B+ average. All of this would be ground breaking for I have never done this well academically. On the bright side though, this is a lot easier to do than to try to find my college experience which at the moment does not exist and has no sign of existing. Sigh

So I went down to my advisor’s hobbit hole, since not only is it underground without any windows and full of trash (I mean valuable outdated things from computer science), but he looks like one, yes a real living hobbit. All he really needs is a pipe. So after an hour of conversing (at a rate of at most 10 words an hour, that’s with every other word being repeated at least twice) we got to the nasty subject that he, yes my advisor, has to fill out transfer forms. I can’t believe I am the first to ask, but he sure seemed lost. He took things way to literally, like thinking that because it said ‘Dean’ or ‘Counselor’ it didn’t mean him. He managed to divert almost all of the forms because ‘they weren’t meant to be filled out by him’. So… I called every school and asked about it, and they told me he was the man to do it. I don’t think he thought I would conclude that in under 10 minutes. Maybe I should bake him cookies to show my appreciation, because I would hate to have that job just as much as he is probably hating it.

And my favorite, they seem to love confusing my poor hopes. First he started with – “Well… I really shouldn’t be doing this because, let’s be honest.. your grades ain’t too hot. I really can only say that I can’t tell if you are talented or not since you haven’t taken many advanced classes…”. But then I said that I wasn’t planning on really getting in to any school and he told “Eh.. you have a pretty good chance, like hmm.. where is it.. here, Cornel”. WTF!

And now off I go, while missing Choir (which means I probably just lost any hope of getting an A in that class), to talk to my professor who has disappeared for the past two weeks because he had a kid. He is the dude that will ultimately decide if I get into any school or not. So with that in mind. I should find out if he had a son or daughter and by him a nice gift. Maybe a Pooh bear.

All of this does make me think if it would be wise to transfer after all. In 4 years I could graduate with one major and a masters at the ripe age of 22. No other school, I think, could offer such an opportunity. And despite this school being at the lowest ranking in US schools, I will still have a damn good transcript at the end. So, who knows, maybe staying would be the wiser decision after all.